First, slight explanation - d_benway has been working for the past month on a paper that he hopes will garner him research grant money. As you can see, he's established a bit of an unusual relationship with "Grant", as the paper has become known.
(Five reasons why) I Hate Grant
1) he's boring
2) he makes great demands on my time
3) he never brings me flowers (even though I'm allergic to them, it's the thought that counts, damn it)
4) he whines a lot, even after demanding the services that I perform upon him
5) he keeps making me do the same things over and over again, and I never seem to be able to follow the rules precisely each time and then have to do those things even more...
6) he keeps reminding me that he will be around for most of the rest of my working life, unless I can find grad students to service him for free
And, stemming from GW's "Marriage Protection Week", this gem from the LJ of pollymel
Lynx: But no. It's in reaction to Canada's legalisation of gay marriage.
Mel: Huh? I thought more people getting married would mean that the institution wasn't in need of protection?
Lynx: But you don't understand! Marriage is a great institution founded on a man and a woman and god.
Mel: Oh. Threesomes only, then?
Lynx: *snigger* Yes.
Mel: See, I don't think I could be in that sort of marriage. Kinky bastards.