1. Have you ever enslaved a population?
I have indeed. Once I took their queen hostage, the workers would frantically mine and tunnel to cater to my every whim and command. I miss my ant farm.
2. Have you ever implanted anyone?
At school, in year two, I once convinced someone they were a plant. Does that count?
3. Have you ever sacked a city?
Look, Köln, everyone likes you here. You're a valuable part of our team, but management's starting to feel that, with the economy the way it is, we can't afford your poor performance of late. I'm sorry, but we're going to have to let you go.
4. Have you ever sunk, or otherwise destroyed, a non-combatant vessel?
Yes, I have. The HMAS SportsPage, an SMH-class newspaper boat, sank with all hands. A recovery operation was attempted, but by then the remains of the vessel were little more than useless pulp. No survivors were found.
It goes on, and is hilarious. I thought I'd just post the first four and if people like them then they can go clicky and read more.