DEAR CLOCK-RADIO MAKERS OF
I am a man of simple means. I am lucky enough to live in safety, security and comfort. All I really want in my life right now is a clock-radio with a logically-designed Snooze button and a display that doesn't MAKE MY ENTIRE DARKENED BEDROOM GLOW LIKE A CHERNOBYL GAY BAR.
The one with green LCD's made me wake up in the middle of the night thinking that Martians were invading. The one with blue LCD's is probably gonna make me dream about TRON, which is fine; but knowing my subconscious I'll be skinny-dipping in the energy pool with Cindy Morgan one moment, and the next, David Warner will be savagely rogering me while I'm trying to navigate a busted Recognizer around the Game Grid. VERY MUCH NOT COOL.
I'm taking the blue one back, and I guess I'll just have to get one with a red-LCD-on-black display, just like everyone else. This is just one more way the MAN is punishing me for being different. I'm gonna go listen to