Random shitty band #1: Ohhh, my girlfriend left me and that really really sucks, guess I'll hafta find another or I'm gonna shag my cat, misery misery woe and gloom and a really cloying guitar riiiiiiiiiff!
Me: I totally hear you, man. Breakups suck.
Random shitty band #2: Whee! I'm so in love, the sun is shining, the tank is clean the world is awesome, my significant other is awesome! Awesome awesome awesome!
Me: *doofy grin* Yeah, awesomeness is awesome.
Random shitty band #3: I was in the club with my homie peeps gettin' down and shizzle fizzle wippity wip wip beep [insert obligatory bleeped-out homophobic/sexist slur] bling and dancing woppa woppa pimp ho [insert euphemism for oral sex] shooba nooba floofa doof, YEAH.
Me: *incredibly, incredibly white* I'm down with that.
Random shitty band #4: My dad... *strummitty strum strum*... wouldn't let me take the car... *strum*... this weekend. So I guess... *strummitty strum strum* I'm'a have to slit my wrists... *strum* until I die. *strum* Or fly. *strum* In the sky. *strum, strum, strum strumstrumstrumstrumstrumSTRUUUUUUM*
Me: *sniffles* Life can be hell, man, but don't give up! NEVER GIVE UP! NEVER SURRENDER!
Random shitty band #5: The MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN wants to get me DOOOOOWN! But I'm REBELLLLLLLLLLIOUS and EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEME, even though I'm signed with a major label and I sound like everybody ELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLSE! So I'll FIGHT! Just like... uh... that other guy.... who FOUGHT!
Me: ROCK ON! I hate The Man!
Random shitty band #6: *twang, twang* If'n the South should raaaahse agayun-
Me: *pops in CD* Dude, even I have my limits.