...I also have a replica of Darth Maul's [lightsaber] that I won by entering a fanfic into a contest. (That's right, I RECIEVED AN INFRINGEMENT OF GEORGE LUCAS'S COPYRIGHT FOR INFRINGING GEORGE LUCAS'S COPYRIGHT. I'M FIGHTING THE MAN, BITCHES!*)
...
*Uncle George, sir, I have been nothing if not irretrievably loyal to you. Every scrap of spare money I've gotten since I was but a youngling has gone straight to your wallet. Please don't sue me; I have nothing left to give.