being a play in three acts
Author: I have an idea for a story that I think is charming and entertaining. I think I shall write it anon!
Readership: Author, your story is quite good! Have a huzzah, good chap!
Author: The people love me, and I have captured their spirit! I can do no wrong!
(AUTHOR writes a new story while MASTURBATING to their own SELF.)
Author: Good people! See, now, my story, and rejoice!
Readership: Your story is a travesty, Author! The Soul of Pretension shines through, and you should be duly shamed!
Author: All is for naught! The only thing left to do is to nail myself to this cross.
(The Author DIES.)
Anne Rice: Welcome back to my loving bosom, child. Now, frolic in the fields of my Elysium, and write your one-handed self-aggrandizement to your heart's content!