the creature from the blog lagoon (ishyface) wrote in metaquotes,
the creature from the blog lagoon

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In a recent locked post of mine, I worried that I was secretly an asshole.
This reply from electric_girl cheered me greatly:

If you were an asshole, I'd let you know.

We'd be like those valiant knights. You know, we'd wear shiny armor and stuff. And you'd have some sexy fair maiden on your arm.

Then, you'd be an asshole. I'd tap you with my armored glove and say, "Hey, Sir Ishidashipper! Stop being an asshole!"

In typical knighty fashion, you'd stop being an asshole. If not, well, then we'd have to do what knights do.


(Insert Chrono Trigger Fight Music)

Lady MJ: Strikes with +4 Sword of Sarcasm For 25 points of damage!
Sir Isidashipper: Strikes with +3 Sword of Searing Honesty for 40 points of damage! CRITICAL HIT! MJ TAKES DOUBLE DAMAGE!
Lady MJ: Consumes a Potion of Cure Critical Wounds
Sir Ishidashipper: Casts Fire 2! MJ takes only 30 points of damage due to her Ruby vest of Fire Protection +10!
Lady MJ: Casts Luminaire! Sir Ishidashipper is obliterated!

Now, in typical Chrono Trigger fashion, you would dissapear in a puff of red smoke, or else you'd just say something snarky and dissapear. I would totally get the hot maiden.

Then, we'd be old, rejected ex-knights hanging out in a bar. We'd wasted our youths on fighting, beer and women. You'd look over and see me, in my tarnished armor, and I'd see you, still trying to figure out how to brandish the Super Ghouls and Ghosts Scythe.

"Hey." I'd say, "How's life treating ya?"

"Eh," you'd reply, "Not much different. Not since you fucked me up all those years ago and stole my girl."

"Geez," I'd say, "You're being such an asshole."

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