WALT THE CAT: Good morning! I'm fluffy, weigh about twenty-five pounds, and have a major personality disorder. I feel the need to wake you up. Is it okay if I put all my considerable weight on this single paw, which I will in turn press right into your larynx?
ME: Walt...ca...can't b-breathe...
WALT THE CAT: This might be a good time to discuss the dispensation of treats.
COSMO THE DOG: Are you impressed by my manhood?
ME: You're a eunuch.
COSMO THE DOG: Well...there is that...I guess I'd better GRAB MY BED AND DRAG IT AROUND THE HOUSE SHAKING IT LIKE A DEAD ANIMAL! RAAAAAR!
ME: You are a total freak.
COSMO: Will you be my girlfriend?