Eliška (tinuvielchild) wrote in metaquotes,
Eliška
tinuvielchild
metaquotes

On the joys of petsitting...

Scenario One
WALT THE CAT: Good morning! I'm fluffy, weigh about twenty-five pounds, and have a major personality disorder. I feel the need to wake you up. Is it okay if I put all my considerable weight on this single paw, which I will in turn press right into your larynx?

ME: Walt...ca...can't b-breathe...

WALT THE CAT: This might be a good time to discuss the dispensation of treats.


Scenario Two
COSMO THE DOG: Are you impressed by my manhood?

ME: You're a eunuch.

COSMO THE DOG: Well...there is that...I guess I'd better GRAB MY BED AND DRAG IT AROUND THE HOUSE SHAKING IT LIKE A DEAD ANIMAL! RAAAAAR!

ME: You are a total freak.

COSMO: Will you be my girlfriend?


-somniesperus, here
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