Speaking of old men with whom I am inexplicably in love, I saw my old history lecturer the other day, looking exactly the same as he always does -- that is, with his mouth hanging open, staring into space and with a singlet clearly visible through his shirt. And bird's nest hair. And his fingernails are very reminiscent of Christopher Lee's in Lord of the Rings. One day in a tutorial he was about to mark the roll, wrote the date at the top of the page and then just stared at it for about three and a half minutes. When someone asked if anything was wrong, he said: "Oh. I think it's my wife's birthday today."