The Good Faery (alstaria) wrote in metaquotes,
The Good Faery

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The perils of living with men

(Insert obligatory long time lurker, first time poster comment)

specialsnowflak on the trials and tribulations of being the sole female occupant of a campus-area apartment.

To kill or not to kill - that is the question
Whether 'tis nobler for the house to suffer
The burps and farts of bodily function
Or to take arms from Sean's vast collection
And by threats of grievous injury end them. To clean, to tolerate -
No more - and by toleration to say we keep
The peace, and the whining and bitching
That conflict is heir to. 'Tis an ideal
Only to be imagined. To clean, to tolerate-
To clean - perchance not to shudder: ay, there's the scrub,
For in that cleanliness of bathroom what shock may come
When we can actually see our faces in the shining mirror,
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes calamity of so long-suffering roommate.
For who would bear the burps and farts of boys,
Th' engineer's foibles, the sword-seller's porno
The noise of despised TV shows, the rent's delay,
The insolence of neighbors, and the spurns
That patient merit of the woman takes,
When she herself might her quietus make
With a loaded shotgun? Who would such things bear,
To smile and mutter under her weary breath,
But that the dread of something even more masculine,
The undiscovered horror, from whose bourn
No dignity escapes, puzzles the will,
And make her rather bear those ills she has
Than to fly to others less lovable?
Thus bemused affection does make tolerant of us all,
And thus the native hue of irritation
Is tainted o'er with the pale cast of amusement,
And enterprises of great frustration and anger
With this regard their currents turn awry
And lose the name of fury.
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