Ben (benthecube) wrote in metaquotes,

Because the purple dancing monkey told me so

From </a></b></a>hothead, in a reply to this post in queer_rage:

Imagine if I went around telling random straight people I disapprove of their immoral relationships because the purple dancing monkey I worship told me they were sinful.

Go ahead, imagine it. It's kind of a funny image. :)

And </a></b></a>__intothewest's reply:

Well, they would have to evaluate whether the purple dancing monkey you worship is the One True God. To determine this, the monkey must pass the following tests:

(1) It must have a book in which its teachings are contained.
(2) In said book, it must endorse Very Holy and Moral Things, such as slavery, subordination of women, sinfulness of "deviant" sexual behaviors (heterosexuality could be one of them), random invasions of lands that do not belong to the monkey's people (preferably accompanied by the killing of all the native inhabitants), and more.
(3) The monkey must have followers, such as you, who are willing to be fanatics, willing to suppress and subjugate all those who do not believe in the monkey and its teachings, as documented in the book that nobody saw the darn monkey write anyway.
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