My computer now says, "You're looking very beautiful, man," when I turn it on, and, "Bastards! You'll all suffer! I'll show the lot of you! I'm going to be a star!" when I turn it off, and, "I demand to have some booze!" when somebody logs onto AIM, and, "MONTY, YOU TERRIBLE CUNT!" when there's an error.
If I could only decide where to put, "GETINTHEBACKOFTHEVAN!" and, "Stop saying that, of course he's the fucking farmer!" then mine would be the coolest computer that ever lived.
ETA: "GETINTHEBACKOFTHEVAN!" is now the logging-onto-AIM sound, and "I demand to have some booze!" is the receiving-message sound, and "I feel unusual" is when people log off. MWAHA!