Educatrix (juliadactyl) wrote in metaquotes,
Educatrix
juliadactyl
metaquotes

Adventures of a Sydney Busdriver.

From furpants_tom, recounting an event that happened during the last few weeks in his job as a bus driver for Sydney Buses.


Scene 861: A Bus (377 Outbound to Maroubra Beach)

*Bus pulls up to the stop in Martin Place, picking up a large group of passengers. Business-suited, crew-cut, stomach-ulcered Surly Jerk is among them. Bus Driver is smiling vaguely, because he has nothing much to feel sad about.*

Surly Jerk: You look pretty bloody happy, for a BUS DRIVER. *Surly Jerk dips his ticket*

Bus Driver: *the smile doesn't falter for a moment as he leans over, whispering* That's because I'm REALLY STONED.

*Surly Jerk retrieves his ticket from the TR, and turns to the back of the bus to board, before doing a double take. For about 5 seconds he stares at the impassively smiling bus drivers face.*

*Bus Driver, about to wet himself, fails to supress a strangulated high-pitched giggle of hysteria that sounds half-way between Matt (spidercat) and Mark from Empire Records run through a Chipmunkcizer.*

*Surly Jerk turns and steps off the bus.*

*Curtain*

The above may or may not be based entirely upon actual events, and may or may not have been ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HILARIOUS COMEDY GOLD! The driver may or may not have realised that State Transit's fucked up policy of not allowing any employees to give work references in their capacity as Supervisors means that he has no reason whatsoever to avoid complaints, since he's leaving in two weeks anyway. Or might not be.
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