If the cardinals had LJ's, would they p'raps go thusly:
"Goddamn fucking pope. He just LORDS his new duds over us. 'Oh, I needed bleach for my white robes...a little spilled into the red bin...sorry for making your robes all pink and spotty! My bad!' JEEEEEESUS!!! Old people shouldn't be allowed to do laundry - their hands get too shakey!"
Or p'raps things like:
"April 4th, 2005: Day 19,899 sans sex0rz. I need to get laid. Yes, I've been saying this for the past forty years but DAMN I NEED A WOMAN! Stupid oaths.
April 5th, 2005: Day 19,900 sans sex0rz. Saw one of the nuns today...when she was walking up the stairs I caught a glimpse of her ankle. I swear she held her skirts up just a little higher than she had to. Thank GOD for robes that cover stiffies. My "Cardinal Jr." is more purple these days. Goes well with the blue balls though...thank GOD I'm leaving for Vegas tomorrow for the outreach convention.
April 15th, 2005: Day 4 sans sex0rz. That's right. You read it right. Sister Mary Catherine cornered me in the hotel in Vegas. I couldn't help it. Dipped into the communion wine with some of the younger guys at the convention. Thank the LORD for the 'What happens in Vegas STAYS in Vegas' rule."