leopardprints (ex_leopardp) wrote in metaquotes,


Swiped from
socratic while discussing BDSM and mock chastising me for my lifestyle . The posts are locked but here are excerpts:

'"Sister Dottie you can be saved!

Come now Sister. If I've said it once I've said it a million times.

It's never too early for Jesus.

Sing it with me, I know you haven't forgotten the words.

Jesus is the nightwatchman of the warehouse of my life
He guards my sacred places and he keeps me safe from strife
And if I make a slip up and I give some goods away
Jesus still forgive me when night comes to follow day

Jesus frowns on oral because to waste good seed is bad
And he can't approve of anal 'cause he knows it's just a fad
Sex outside of marriage is a serious no-no too
Such rutting is for animals, the ox, the pig, the Jew

Jesus loves me when it's dry out and he loves me when it's damp
But our mighty lord and savior abhors a nipple clamp
If you like to whip your lover than her flesh you have defiled
Such pain inducing implements are fit only for a child

Jesus hates a bloviator so this song is almost through
Remember what it says though and to its path stay true
The bedroom is for sleeping, procreation, but not fun
Give up your carnal pleasure, there's washing to be done."'

And later:

'"Look. Have you READ the bible? It's got all this shit in it about treating the poor with respect and dignity, that temporal wealth leads to temptation and moral decline, and PACIFISM. Jesus, for all the great stuff about him, was an idiot and a traitor. He was all "Hey buddies, let's be kind even to those we disagree with and those who mistreat us because they are god's children too and all deserve respect and dignity in His world." Hippie bullshit. Did they have marijuana back then? Cause if they did, he smokem peace pipe.

New Christianity has PIZZAZ. It's all about showing how your neighbor is worse than you and acquiring stuff to prove you are EL PRIMO AWESOME CHRISTIAN! Check out the pope, he's got those bitching robes and he hates women. What would Jesus say about that? He'd probably chide him for being a prideful oppressive prick. But take the Jesus out of the religion and we can all cheer him and jump around and shout his name in glory because he's a FUCKING ROCKSTAR FOR CHRIST!


Gods, he makes me laugh!
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