The Large One (sir_eats_a_lot) wrote in metaquotes,
The Large One

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What. The. Fudge.

From the ever amusing </a></b></a>jerry_reigns

Ever say anything so incredibly non-sensical and stupid that it makes you feel like Godzilla just ravaged your genitals?

Backstory: So occasionally I work for my Mom and Dad, selling cakes at their big cake factory.
Backstory: My Mom and Dad make cakes.
Backstory: Hey, I'm Jerry.
So anyway, often I get assorted questions about these cakes: how they're made, how long they last, etc.
But for some ungodly reason, this question caught me off guard and I said THIS:

Old Lady Who Likes Cakes: "Is the cocoa meringue cake pre-sliced?"
Jerry: "No, but it slices under a knife."

It slices under a knife.
What. The. Fudge.

What kind of answer is that?
-Hey, want some chips?
-Sure! I'll eat them with my teeth!

My only explanation to this is that there is some sort of radiation given off by dark chocolate that lowers people's I.Q.'s drastically. I must've been exposed! (Hehe. I almost wrote "explode.")

I knew it was going to be a completely mental answer as soon as I opened up my luscious, caramel mouth.
It happened like this:

Old Lady Who Likes Cakes: "Is the cocoa meringue cake pre-sliced?"
Jerry: "No, (HA! FOOL! The cocoa meringue cake has NEVER been sliced, HAG!) but (I suppose I have to reassure her now, I hope I answer her question correctly.) it (Right, ok...where am I going with this? I've already used too many words.) slices (I don't like where this is going! Pull out. PULL OUT!) under (We're gonna need a bigger boat.) a (Maybe I'll die before I finish this sentence.) knife. (Fuck. Me. Sideways.)"
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