"True story. I was a waitress in a cocktail bar (No really) in Dallas on Greenville Avenue. We wore little outfits which consisted of a long tunic, a little cloth belt around the waist, tights, tennis shoes and tennis visor hat thingies. I was walking up to the 2nd level to head to my section, when a guy thought he'd be funny. I heard the words 'Hey y'all, watch this!' and hoped I'd be far away from whatever he was going to do. Sadly, I was not. As I'm walking up the next stair, I feel a cold breeze on my butt. The guy thought it would be funny to lift my tunic to see what I wearing underneath and show all his friends. It wasn't just a flipping up of the skirt. It was a full pull up to expose my arse, enough that the belt rose up to under my arms. 'Oh no you DIDN'T' I thought to myself.
I quickly swung around with my fist and connected right to his pretty little nose. I decked him HARD, blood splaying everywhere. I then launched on him, grabbed him by the collar and proceeded to give him a verbal ass reaming like nothing he every received or probably ever will again. My 7ft tall manager came flying across the room, picked the guy up over his head and headed to the door with me running down the stairs to catch up. The manager dumped the guy on his head, right in front of the police officer outside. The cop was quite startled and he heard the story from my manager and other witnesses.
As I stood on the stairs, massive applause broke out I stood there with blood on my fist and looking like crazy woman.
Everywhere I went for the next two weeks, I had free food and drinks, as other waiters and bartenders had heard the story.
[Originally posted as part of the answers to this week's ljdq, reproduced with permission]