Marg (eimran) wrote in metaquotes,
Marg
eimran
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Tagline: A Scary Cow Story by the always quoteable megapope

I was visited by a ghost last night. It was the steak I had eaten that afternoon, now in floating opaque cow form. We both sat there for a moment, me and this undead bovine of the night, before she floated up and dumped an ethereal shit the size of a St. Bernard right in the middle of my fucking carpet.

I thought to myself, as the ghostly cow floated off again through the door (yes, right through the damn thing. It was locked.), why the hell was I targeted for this piece of fecal terrorism from beyond the grave? It wasn't like the steak represented a huge percentage of her dead body. Shit, maybe the cow was going from victim to victim, defecating on the floors of every man and woman who had partaken of her flesh.

But that wasn't the real problem, in any case. Do you have any idea about how hard it is to remove ectoplasmic cow turd from a carpet?
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