Among the best snippets of this big screed, though, is this:
Your lack of satisfaction with the service, the drinks, the atmosphere, the couple at the adjacent table, the dish that we specially prepared for you because it doesn't even exist on our menu, is simply a reflection of a larger dissatisfaction you possess towards yourself and your life. But don't worry, a good fuck ought to clear that right up! That is if you can find a man willing to put up with your constant complaining and impossibly high standards for long enough to get you off. And, oh yeah, I spit in your Diet Coke!!