FC: Can you unlock this door?
Me: Sure. *unlocks door*
FC: Can you unlock this other door over here?
Me: Okay, but no one go into this first building until I can disarm the alarm system.
FC: Right, of course, sincere expressions of affirmation.
Me: *goes to unlock other door*
FC: *sets off alarm*
Me: *is fucked*
*you know the drill*
Me: *inspects building* Dude. OMGMESS. I thought you were going to clean up afterwards?
FC: Um... uh... OMGFILMING!!!! SHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!seven!!
Me: *starts cleaning up on ANOTHER FLOOR*
FC: Sorry, too loud. You're banned.
Me: *is kicked out of own workplace*
Me: *spends the morning writing a hilarious and only slightly exaggerated account of not-so-hilarious experiences*