Maybe I'm overreacting, being arachnophobic and all, but it really does seem that the moment February ends, I wake up and suddenly my walls have gone from white to black and they're moving. There's a letter on my drawer, but I almost don't notice, because both the drawer and the letter are covered with spiders. Finally, one of the damn things hands (legs?) me the letter, and I open it up, and inside it says "Hi! We're moving in. Also don't leave the house because the world has, in fact, mutated into a giant spider. Love, spiders." Also there's a spider in the letter.
"That is not your wall. Do you know who owns that wall? Do you know how many legs the person who owns that wall has? TWO. NOT EIGHT. Eight is a stupid number of legs."