Tina (tinafizz) wrote in metaquotes,

Raising the Antichrist

This entry from wych highly amused me.....

enchantedfey and I were talking about religion and some of the things that don't make sense to us about Christianity. Well we ended up talking about having to be the mother of the Antichrist and that problems that would present in real life and how would you discipline such an important figure?

List of measures behind the cut
We could imagine ourselves saying things like:

1. If you don't cut it out I'm going to change your name to Faerie. Faerie Antichrist doesn't sound very evil does it?! Would you prefer Cinderella?! How about Francis?

2. Don't make me get a priest.

3. If you don't buckle your seat belt I'm going to pull over at this church and leave you with the nuns.

4. Stop bothering your father!!! He's been through hell today!

5. That does it. I'm getting the Rosary.

6. That's the last time you burn down the house. I'm changing your name to Jesus. Don't look at me like that!!

7. I don't care how important you think you are! I'm still your mother and *sob* I went through 49 hours of labor for you! You can't imagine the 9 months of feiry heartburn I endured! Doesn't that count for anything! You are so ungrateful!

8. If you don't behave and stop turning your friends into snakes I'm going to smack you so hard the 666 will go flying off your head! Then what will you do??

9. OH! I got your nose I got your nose! Oh look! I got one of your heads! Where'd it go? Is it in my hand? OH look I got your horn! Where is it?

10. If you keep twisting your head 180 degrees like that it's going to get stuck forever and you'll have to look backwards for the rest of your life.
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