I'm forever less and more (wonderbink) wrote in metaquotes,
I'm forever less and more

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Final Wishes

crevette is rather looking forward to the film Kingdom of Heaven starring one Orlando Bloom. She is noted for being a bit fond of said Orlando Bloom person.

I don't think KOH will have that snark factor. I'm sort of thinking it has the earmarks of being a really, really good movie. And it will bring the pretty. And the pretty will be grimy and dirty and bloodsplattered, carrying a sword and being all HAWT, and being capable of growing facial hair. Those pictures have inspired me to start writing Kingdom of Heaven Haiku. (speaking of haiku, did you realize that "restraining order" is exactly 5 syllables? Yes, I wrote that out in one.)

Dear Lord, I'm so dead. D.E.D.

My crotch will spontaniously combust and I'll just burn up in the Oldsmar 20.

As a resident of Florida, and being just a few miles from the Terri Schaivo circus, I will now state for the record: If this movie doesn't kill me D.E.D., but instead causes me to have a stroke or to have convulsions, or cause myself to beat my head against a hard, unyielding surface until I have brain damaged myself beyond all sense(always a possibility...), do NOT put me on machines, do NOT insert a feeding tube(unless you're feeding me margaritas), do not take extraordinary measures to prolong my life. And especially do NOT call Jesse Jackson. If you call Jesse Jackson to stand over my bedside and pray, I will come back and HAUNT your ass. Correction. I will come back and haunt your ass and then BEAT it.

Read the whole thing here.
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