I Blame the Dutch (mpoetess) wrote in metaquotes,
I Blame the Dutch
mpoetess
metaquotes

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anniesj on the approach of Hurricane Isabel:

Yes, my friends, it's that time again, when the local news gets out the sensationalist graphics and tries to scare the living fuck out of everyone in the area! Hooray! So last night, our local weatherman showed us two scenarios for what could happen with Isabel's projected path:

BILL WALSH: So first, we'll show you the best case scenario. See how this ridge weakens enough for Isabel to move north and out to sea?
(Cue pretty, serene little hurricane model as it spins harmlessly out to sea, and children laugh in the background while Jesus sings them happy songs and cures cancer.)
BILL WALSH: And nows, here's the worst-case scenario.
(Evil fucking Satanic laughter bellows while a choir sings "O Fortuna" and flames lick the edge of the screen while Isabel, black with the souls of a thousand million dead babies, slams directly into Charleston. Repeatedly. While your mother dies.)
BILL WALSH: Let's watch that again, shall we?
(Lather. Rinse. Repeat.)
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