"You have all been fooled! Birds are not what they seem! They are Aliens! Unidentified Objects! Extra Terrestrial! Out of this world!
Has anyone actually seen birds reproduce? Because it must be pretty fucking difficult. Do they even have reproductive organs? Julie riddled and I have it all figured out.
So you have chicks, and you have hens/cocks. Have you ever seen them in between? No! This is because they clone themselves. They concentrate very hard and go “Hnnnnnn*pop*” And tada! You have a new chicken. They do this at night when no one’s looking. This is true of all birds, and if you’re wondering “But what about the chicks?”, I have the answer for that too. They are a separate species of bird altogether. A very pathetic creature, which lives off of its cuteness. Much like the Dodo. Which was also an alien.
So there you have it. Birds are from Outer Space. I don’t know how they got here, or even why. But they are out there. So be aware. And watch your step."
Cut for one instance of profanity.