Dear American tourists at the zoo:
No, you can't cuddle the Tasmanian devils.
No, you can't scratch them behind the ears either.
No, I'm not just saying that because you're not Australian.
Fine, because you're not Australian, yeah. After you go home we're going to leash 'em up and ride them around the park.
I've seen footage. It's amazing. Dang Aussies get to have all the fun.