Me: Self, are you there?
Self: Yes, stupid, where else would I be?
M: Oh, sorry.
S: You damn well should be! And by the way, do you really think I would hang around here with your boring ass if I had something-ANYTHING- better available?!
M: Well, I never really thought about it...
S: Of course you didn't. Selfish ass.
M: Hey, I thought we were in this together?
S: What have I told you about trying to think for yourself? Idiot. Now lets go pick up random hitchhikers and scare the shit out of them.
M: But I can't drive! I don't have a lisence.
S: I've been meaning to talk to you about that too... we'll talk about it in the car.