Another from dramaqueenbee (again from a f-locked post, quoted with permission):
"So, I know you all have been pining away and anxiously awaiting my return to our hallowed halls. I should be back tomorrow, after a fun filled three days. During this time, I became intimate friends with my toilet bowl. I have decided to name him Charles (pronounced sharrl)...
After another mad dash to Charles' downstairs cousin Phillipe (filleeep), my mother looked at me with concern written all over her Stevie Wonder face. (She got LASIK surgery yesterday, and was wearing these bug-eye blind lady glasses.)
Mum: "Honey? You know how you were asking me what I would do if you told me that you were pregnant?"
me: "Yes. No. No, I'm not."
Mum: "Are you sure? There's no way? You're positive?"
Mum: "We'd have to call him Baby Jesus II?"
There you have it. Pardon, Charles is calling.