Coinneach Fitzpatrick (scarybaldguy) wrote in metaquotes,
Coinneach Fitzpatrick
scarybaldguy
metaquotes

Gerund!

eirehound provides a graphic example of a Grammar Whore:

No, I something more along the lines of a severely dressed young woman with thin lips and glasses and no makeup, her hair in a bun, reading someone's writing and saying ...

"Yes! Semicolons! Oh, and what an exquisite balance of your subordinate clauses. You really do know where to put your prepositional phrases, don't you, darling."
"Go to page 3, dear."
"No, no, I want to get there slowly. This is too well-written to be gulped." (She slowly starts to unbutton her top, breathing more shallowly and rapidly.) "Oh, it's not standard, but your repetitive use of semicolon-joined parallel independent clauses in the second paragraph of page 2 is so ... exciting."
"All for you, my love."
"Oh and ... wait. What is this? A dangled participle? You wrote for me and you gave me a dangled participle?"
"Love, I'm sorry. It was thoughtless. Poor editing. Please forgive me."
"Forgive you! You've been a very naughty boy, mister, and I think it's time for a small usage lesson..."

(Curtain. Sound of whip cracks and muffled cries. The word "gerund" can just be made out.)

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