My cousin Trina used to say that if this family had lots and lots of money, we'd have to apply for federal status -- that or declare war on the Philippine government before George Bush pre-empts them. Only the women, she added, would have to run things because the males in the family are tactical idiots. For instance, this other uncle of mine, who's a honking one-man drug syndicate, used to shoot fireworks up in the sky to summon his lackeys (my cousins) to their literally crack Sabbats. The police eventually got wind of this (or perhaps they knew that they could only pretend not to notice it for so long >_>). So the next time they saw impromptu fireworks exploding in the sky -- really pretty white-gold ones, I remember -- they paid their bill in my aunt's panciteria and went off to raid my uncle's house. He's out of jail now and as regrettably ditzy as ever. He's stopped the fireworks, but he's taken to going round the place in a small owner-type jeepney, blaring Mass notices and invitations to 'open parties' at his house on his loudspeaker.By the ever-interesting team7.