redefining success as just showing up (baggers) wrote in metaquotes,
redefining success as just showing up
baggers
metaquotes

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For the angry fan on the go! Now you can let people know what you really think of them, in mere minutes! No more scrabbling for the perfect adjective to fling at the target of choice! (Note: The creator of the Kerfluffle-o-Matic holds no responsibility for any flames incurred because of use.)

Dear fanfiction author/reader:

It has recently come to my attention that you write and/or read
a) slash, b) het, c) gen, d) real person fic, e) AU human fic, f) what I would classify 'bad' fic

You should be deeply ashamed of yourself, because those kinds of stories
a) objectify, b) are morally repugnant, c) don't interest me, and therefore have no worth.

Furthermore, I see you ship (insert pairing here). What the hell is wrong with you???
a) They so didn't love each other! b) They did horrible things to each other! c) (Character A) is a bitch/asshole, and unworthy of of (Character B)'s love. d) (Character A) obviously belongs with (Character C), e) They're not my One True Pairing, and therefore have no worth.

I hope you
a) die, b) stop writing this offensive drivel, c) repent. REPENT!

If you continue to offend me, I'll
a) get all my winged monkeys to attack you in every nook and cranny of the cyber world, b) whine. A lot. c) bring you to your worthless knees with the power of my almighty bad fanfic group, where mediocre writers go to punish heathens, d) fandom_wank you.

Sincerely,
(Insert name here), a loyal a) Duck, b) Kitten, c) Spike/Buffy shipper, d) Buffy/Giles shipper, e) slasher, f) het fan, g) gen fan, e) proponent for the eradication of fanfiction that doesn't interest me personally, f) Spike fan, g) Spike hater, h) rambling psychotic, i) fan of John Tesh

- raskazzptitsa (this post may or may not be friends only now; permission was given to post here)
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