Last night I tore myself a new asshole! Apparently a bedspring, unnoticed by me, had pushed itself up out of my mattress and through the padding and sheets. I was propped up on my headboard and my foot slipped, and I slid down, fishhooking my ASS CHEEK deep on the bedspring. Ouch. I was stuck to the bed and had to extract myself very carefully and then there was much bleeding and also giggling. It actually doesn't hurt that badly for such a deep wound (and it is pretty deep--that sucker was like an inch long). I really hope I will have a scar on my ass after this, and an excuse to show it to people.
cut by request.