Lib (libram) wrote in metaquotes,
Lib
libram
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Even more fun from my brother!

itburnsitburns and his delicate wording makes a simple trip to the bathroom seem like a fantastic adventure:

Urinals Away

Little challenges or bouts of curiosity make every mundane act a bit more interesting. I was invading the Marriot bathroom the other week and as I was about to enthusiastically engage the porcelain effigy with some ureal erosion, I thought to myself, "Can I make this automatic-flush urinal flush while still pissing into it?"

Mind you, without making a mess. I hate when people make messes. My aim is superior. So I began my thing, and I started moving further and further away from my white friend until I was maybe 5 feet away, piss flowing in a beautiful arc like a golden rainbow of sterile kidney-rejected joy. And then it happened.

FWOOOOSHHHHHHHHH. And I was still going. The pressure began to lessen, like that of Bush on progressing stem-cell research after his defeat of Kerry, and I began to approach the confused appliance. I was done. I walked away from that urinal with a distinct satisfaction that I gave it multiple flushgasms in one session. This is why I'm a real man.


*still in fits of giggles*
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