"J: You know, Seeker's probably only like quickies. He probably pre-ejaculates too.
M: HE DOES NOT OH MY GOD WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU I HATE YOU HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT ABOUT HARRY WHAT HAS HE EVER DONE TO YOU I BET HE'S REALLY SWEET AND ROMANTIC - boohisshiss
J: And on top of that he's too angsty.
M: How would that affect him in the sac? Maybe he's just kinky.
J: Maybe he likes angry sex."
"M: What about Lucius?
J: *considers it for a long moment* No, I bet he has a small penis.
J: That's why he's so mean. He's actually insecure."
Hope that made someone's day better. I know it did for me.