Dear Mr. Vagina:
We have had this discussion before. We had it a month ago. I have not changed my mind on the matter.
You are NOT ALLOWED to behave this way at times like this. Definition of "times like this" being: "Near a major holiday, when I am hopefully going to be seeing a certain boyfriend very soon."
I can at least thank you for the warning. You warned me very clearly when I doubled over in cramp-pain during GSA. However, there was nothing I could do but suffer in silence while your friend Mr. Uterus ate me from the inside out. Thanks a lot.
And so we begin another week-long battle. But this time, clever friend, the disaster will be yours!