Edit: Fixed the linkage. Thanks.
"I'm sorry - I know Anna Kournikova has a gorgeous body, athletic, strong and yet, still feminine. She also has long, lustrous and thick blonde locks. All well and good except for one thing:
She's got a face like a drunken dirty-diapered monkey had sex with a wet pancake. Skevotz.
Word on the street is that she done married my husband Enrique. Here is a letter to you, Enrique. It says it all.
Dear husband #287,
Why Enrique?! Do you like wet pancakes and poopy-filled diapers? You are a HOT, HOT man with a killer voice, but your taste is questionable. Again, for lack of a more fitting word, skevotz.