On his hatred of TV commercials:
"There's also the new Old Navy commercials, where a choir of beautiful people suddenly appear in all the strangest locations -- like people's closets, a bowling alley, and a mall -- to sing the praises and raise their voices on high in exaltation of...um...pajamas and sweaters. I'd like to see one where a crazed redneck, and I'm talkin' one of those bastards from Deliverance here, opens his door, sees them, and just goes nuts with a chainsaw.
"It's the best month of the year, for shopping at--" BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGGGGAAAGANGNANGANGANAN
But really you should just read the whole thing.
Damn I love this man.