And The Clocks Were Striking Thirteen (_redpanda_) wrote in metaquotes,
And The Clocks Were Striking Thirteen


This is actually quite old, so I can't remember if it was quoted or not, and if it was...well, with any luck you've forgotten. :)

I WILL throw glitter at you. I stole the idea from a comedian whose name I cannot remember. He was talking about getting fired from a job and he said if it's a job you hated anyway you should make a scene. Like throwing glitter in your boss's face. Why? Have you ever gotten glitter on you? That crap's hard to get offa you. And he's right.

From now on I travel with a pocket full of glitter, so when I meet people I don't like, or who piss me off I'm ready.

"I'm sorry, sir, but X-Men 3 is sold out."
"Oh yeah? Well, *GLITTER!*"

Y'see *GLITTER!* is the part where I throw glitter in her face and walk away. The only problem is with me being from New York I'll be throwing a lot of glitter...'cause I don't like anyone really. I barely like you. Yeah you. Oh really? Well then, *GLITTER!*

What was I talking about? Oh yeah, glitter. I visualize getting written up in the local paper. "Crazed Glitterer Strikes Again! A Sparkly Town In Terror!" The police will come to arrest me and I'll throw glitter in their faces, then hop in my white Bronco and we'll have a low speed chase with me throwing glitter at innocent bystanders along the way... I'll get arrested and Kato Kaelin will be at my trial not remembering anything. Then I'll get sentenced to six months in jail. Originally it was only going to be 24 hours of community service (I mean, c'mon, it's not like they're going to be upset, it's only glitter) but after hearing my sentence I got pissed off and threw glitter in the judge's face, so I got six months for assulting the judge.

Glitter is a deadly weapon.

-- seraphic_slayer

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