wickedtrue, in comments to one of muffinbutt's posts:
Aubrey: I can't take you to the island. I have to chase the hot frenchie!
Maturin: BROKEN PROMISE BROKEN PROMISE!! *is a girl*
Aubrey: Wah. No mansex. *angsts musically*
Maturin: *almost dies!*
Aubrey: Crap. Gotta take my boyfriend to the island.
Maturin: *lives! Then searches for bugs*
Aubrey: Damnit! *sings* ~If only I were a flightless bird~!
That little Maturin is one of those characters you just want to steal and put in a little box under your bed. And when you have a bad day, you take him out and listen to him babble about the breeding pattern of dust bunnies and the mating rituals of the flightless tuxedo button. And then feed him cookie crumbs.
(Talking about Master and Commander.)