Ys (ysabel) wrote in metaquotes,

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Two bits

amaltheae says over here:
Sects have risen and fallen or sometimes survived their egotistical assumptions over and over again. One after another someone predicts that Armageddon is secretly coded into the bible and is going to happen in their life time. Of course, time and again, they have been just plain wrong. Either that or like the fear demon from Buffy, no one read the fine print under Armageddon that said "actual size" and there was one guy in South Dakota who went bye-bye while none of us were paying attention.
Really, the biggest problem with the Bible is that the FDA is falling down on its job. As the opiate of the masses, the good book falls well within their purview, but they have done nothing to slap a “best if used by date” on some important sections therein. It would solve so very many pesky deluded false prophets and the issues with the wing nut currently in charge of the white house. Let’s just rip the rug right out from under them folks and clear up the whole mess. Yes, boys and girls, you left that one on the shelf too long and it spoiled. There are lots of other goodies to be had, but your good milk of revelations has curdled and it’s time to stop being pompous self important idiots and move on.

And nilesta says over here:
It's a scary place, there, in the presence of Kathy Healy and her vengeful, jealous, petty God. I have to sneak in when he isn't looking, trying my best not to look like I had kids out of wedlock, least I burst into flame the second her holy sight falls upon me, pinned there in the corridor like a bug who once hitchhiked down the mountain from Bear Creek carrying enough hash in her bra to ensure she would never want for prison guards to bend her over a dirty toilet and violate her with a billy club. Not that I know any bugs who would admit to that, you understand. Even less bugs that would admit a hint of ironic heat at the idea of being violated with a billy club.

Her headphones weren't playing through both side, only one. So I pushed the cord into the socket until there was a second click and put on the earphones to be greeted with a mortally wounded cow crooning about going home to cow heaven where no one eats beef. Jesus loves you, little cow, now close your eyes and get in the shredder, my taco is waiting.
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