August 12th, 2011

green leaves

The Endless Bag of Fried Chicken

When I was younger, I got ahold of a Dungeons and Dragons manual, not so much to play but to get intoxicated and flip through with my friends and scribble notes in the margins. One of the best sections was our long list of slightly parodied magical items, +2 staves of buttfucking, rings of overcommitment, etc. My favorite was the Endless Bag of Fried Chicken.

Google Reader is the Endless Bag of Fried Chicken.

I won't go into the dreary mechanics of why Google Reader is an endless bag of fried chicken - I think anyone who uses it understands - but the metaphor for force-feeding seems fair. I spend all morning eating a lot of chicken - really fucking good chicken, chicken of a sort I know I enjoy and went looking for on purpose - but the bag keeps refilling and is full again by the afternoon. Take a hike, there's more chicken waiting when you get back. Run a bath, more chicken. Make a phone call, more chicken. And if there gets to be too much chicken it can be thrown away, but not without the twinge of real remorse about wasting all of that great chicken and besides, not all of the chicken is the same. Some of it is less good and some of it is great and occasionally the chicken isn't chicken at all but some sort of comedic or existential God Chicken which you forward to all of your friends and spend a lot of time being glad you found.