May 22nd, 2009

Hilarrible

It burns

snowcoma and her urethra are having a bad day.

WAAAAAGH IT FEELS LIKE I'M TRYING TO PISS ANGRY WEASELS!

AND SEATTLE'S TAP WATER TASTES LIKE IT'S BEEN FILTERED THROUGH THE FINEST BELGIAN GOAT TESTICLES.


Context is burning like hellfire, and quoted in its entirety.
  • Current Music
    Starcrossed-Ash
goddess

"Left cheek! Left cheek! Left cheek!"

raisedbymoogles had an interesting day at the animal shelter.

ME: *transferring kitties to clean cages w/ water and food and litterboxes, tum te tum* O hay, new kitty. Hallo!
CAT: *innocently* Mew.
ME: *is a sucker* *reaches in and picks her up*
CAT: I AM MEGATRON. *proceeds to
mutilate the ever-loving hell out of me*
ME: OH GOD WHY ISN'T THE VULCAN NECKGRAB THING WORKING
CAT: DIE POONY HOOMN DIE *RIPS IN HALF*
AUTOBOTS: *roll out*
EPIC BATTLE: *is very epic and explodey*
MICHAEL BAY: *needs a cigarette*
OPTIMUS PRIME: You left me no choice, brother. *stuffs EVIL MEGATRON in a cage*
CAT: *innocently* Mew?
RATCHET: Might want to dab some alcohol on that.
ME: *bleeds* ;_;

So that was my morning. How is everyone else doing?

Epilogue
Fangirls: *resurrect me and give me a hot boyfriend in uniform*


Context has apparently found a giant, alien cube in the kennel run.
do not set yourself on fire
  • gwalla

(no subject)

padparadscha watches Animal Planet:
So this entire damn episode is EXTREME MAN HOST going around prepping to go diving amongst Humboldt squid. It isn’t clear what his motive is here, except to be NEAR DANGEROUS ANIMALS. So he goes and practices by punching a surprised and indignant octopus, and then they give him some kind of armor and he goes and punches a dog, because dogs are like squid in that they are carbon-based.
Context has a very important moral.
Everyone is a crazy person

The most epic Mary Sue Ever

crabby_hermit has something to say: 

Also, bunching all of their admirable traits into one jam-packed fap session? Look, we're not shopping for a car. We can learn these things as we read along, if we're so inclined. Really, when you introduce Sakura Jones Tatahime, we don't need to be immediately bombarded with how she has the best body money can buy, silky and gorgeous maroon hair, sparkling grey eyes, an I.Q. of OVER 9,000!!!, four wheel drive, photographic memory, free checking and savings, a 500GB hard drive with wireless cable connection, a heated pool and fitness center, Celia Ammerman's fashion sense, a sensual laugh, GPS, a full ocean view, a 20-year warranty, and 600 channels.

http://community.livejournal.com/fanficrants/8252437.html <--Context would make a great car-salesman.