May 11th, 2009

safe sex, bad puns

The patient's kinda....green....

degeneratelyte runs into some special patients as an EMT:

NEMI'S CALL SHEET FOR TREATING PLANTS
(Arrival) - EMS responded to Fire Company 24 in order to leave inappropriate notes on their blackboard and eat their cookies. Arrived on scene to find 18 small tomato plants on the bench in front of the apparatus bay, looking dehydrated.

(Chief Complaint) - None voiced by patients.

(History) - Apparently, the plants were left out in the hot sun, and have not been properly hydrated. No past medical history is available from the patients, as they are non-verbal upon EMS arrival.

(Assessment) - All plants appear well-nourished but mildly dehydrated. GCS of all patients is 3, which is their baseline. Soil is dry. Leaves appear limp.

(Rx) - Rehydration immediately begun by administering 20oz bottles of water to all patients' roots. Soil became moist. Patients were transferred inside the apparatus bay for shade and rehydration therapy was continued. Leaves appeared less 'wilty' following move to shade and second round of rehydration therapy.

(Transport) - No transport destination preference was voiced by any of the patients. EMS determined that Fire personnel might not exactly be thrilled with EMS transporting their tomato plants anywhere. Determination was made to release the patients to the care of Fire personnel with supplies and instructions for continued rehydration therapy.


QWP from a locked post, Context will never have a pulse, but will be rather tasty when mature.
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    amused amused
zombie

In booju_newju, a Mother's Day question arises:

rovylern asks:

What kind of crazy Mother's Day do ya'll have that it's such a huge deal whether someone is 'allowed' to celebrate it or not? Do you give them hand made gold-dipped chocolates on a platinum platter served by naked cabana boys or something? I can't imagine arguing over something as innocuous as Mother's Day for anything less than naked cabana boys.

Context is much more drama llama than funny.
I have you now... in my panties

(no subject)

ensuing has come upon a bit of a dilemma.

I found a fabulous picture of Neil Patrick Harris riding a unicorn on /tv/ a few days ago and it was just big enough to use a wallpaper. It's super epic... I mean, NPH, looking serious, riding a unicorn, with godly clouds and a great shining light behind him. I love it, it's quite possibly the greatest wallpaper I've ever used.

But...

Now whenever I read porn on Artemis, I always see his face staring at me... like he's judging me. It makes me feel so bad! The only way I feel okay about going through the porn folder now is by covering his face with some window, as if I'm blocking his view. I don't want him to think poorly of me.

Oh, so pathetic.

Context feels exposed. QWP.