May 9th, 2009

  • gwalla

(no subject)

padparadscha's mom can get information out of anyone:
It’s not just random people, either. My mom will get more information out of my friends in one sitting than I ever manage to hear through a lifetime friendship. If I had a buddy named Bruce, all our conversations would go like this:

AMELIA: So, Bruce! Anything going on in your life right now?
AMELIA: How’s your girlfriend? I hear she’s been enjoying some new hobbies.
BRUCE: She’s okay.
AMELIA: What about this secret project you vaguely alluded to a week ago with your job? How’s that going?
BRUCE: Fine.

Then Bruce would come home with me for dinner one night, and we’d help Mom in the kitchen while the following conversation took place:

AMELIA: Mom, this is Bruce. Bruce, this is my mom.
MOM: Hi, Bruce! How are you?
BRUCE: Well, my business is doing okay, since we’ve just signed on a contract with the military to make secret spying technology. Mostly I’m concerned because last week my girlfriend proposed to me but I’m not really ready to commit yet, for I fear to be tied down. Plus, I am haunted by the ghosts of my past and am still tormented by nightmares and wake up screaming, afraid I’ve wet the bed like I did for years after the death of my parents when I was a child. Also, I’m Batman.
Context did not inherit this power.