December 14th, 2008

kosh fire
  • jinni_x

(no subject)

innostrantsa explains the fireworks at Yet Another Simon Mall:

Yep, Domain. They're doing it to draw you into their web of Pointlessly Luxuriant Consumerism. The shiny, it shall lure the unexpecting, and lo, verily shalt they spend of the cash and of the plastic.

Eventually there shalt also be a great wailing and gnashing of teeth, and cries of "I cannot fucking BELIEVE these interest charges! Why the hell'd we buy your bitchy Aunt Trudine $700 chinchilla moccasins, anyway?!"

Context is not humping the wall.
ghost rider xmas
  • gwalla

(no subject)

shortpacked saw a vanity license plate reading "GOPCKS".

Mmmm, GOP Cocks. Tastes like Real America! We grow gooood people in our small towns!

Leaves me wondering what "Real America" tastes like, because I'm pretty sure the last place that the GOP Cocks were is up the asses of the union workers in Michigan.

If "Real America" tastes like the inside of a factory worker's colon, I think I'd prefer the fake stuff.
Context may actually be a Packers fan
Magic Smiff

harkness_101 undergoes an interesting kind of clerical error.

Just a warning to whoever buys Torchwood Magazine...

Don't speak too fast if you ask for it.

Because for some reason it sounds like "Torture Magazine".

And you end up buying something COMPLETELY different. one make my mistake. I was ever so shocked when I opened the brown paper bag. I don't think I'll ever be able to show my face in that paper shop again.

Context mocks your phantasmagoria. Also, there are torture magazines?
peacock, snake eyes

(no subject)

indiana_jane_ complains about the weather warning system in Canada:

According to the local news program, Environment Canada will only issue a wind chill warning if it exceeds -40 C (-40 F as well). Apparently the logic here is temperatures which can kill you, like -35 C (-31 F) will only make you stronger, while temperatures which could kill you instantaneously, -45 C (-49 F), are the ones worth warning you about.

Context blames You-Know-Who.