December 1st, 2008

danielarms

(no subject)

peppervl makes this comment about the War on Christmas:

"People are hunkered down in the trenches, Merry Christmases and Happy Holidays exploding all around. Hanukkah and Kwanzaa are huddled behind a broken wall, unsure if they should stand up for themselves, or scurry over to fight with Happy Holidays, though realistically it's probably best to stay just where they are. Holidays has got Christmas so distracted that Christmas almost isn't noticing Hanukkah and Kwanzaa and anything that hits them is more likely to be accidental than intentional. New Years is trying to sneak off the field, and plans on petitioning the UN to declare it a fully-January holiday, which would allow it to declare neutrality, but would weaken Holiday's lines."

Context in customers_suck.
Calcifer

(no subject)

On receiving badly-written 'naughty' limericks on a dating site:

numbedtoe: ...So Flagg found your account?

kickthehobbit: That's honestly what I thought, but he's not Canadian, and is too old to be Flagg. :(

popelizbet: ...we know how old Flagg is?

tomecatti: Flagg is as old as wank itself, I thought.

popelizbet: I was pretty sure that Flagg was the Ancient Wankdversary, from my learnings.

tomecatti: And thus did the Eternal Moderator chase the wretch Flagg out of the BBS heavens, and then declared, "I think I shall make the internet." The brooding Flagg, after falling for 56k, declare to his companions, "I shall now avenge myself by marring the future world that Mod shall create!" And his closest lieutenant, the demon Goatse, shouted "Alright let's go!"

And an army of Lulz was released upon the fresh face of the intarwebs.

Context loves MrFlagg. QWP.
we live in brooklyn

(no subject)

This summer, sarahtales saw 'Team Edward' and 'Team Jacob' badges strategically positioned on the stand.

SARAH: Teams? I do not understand. In the next book will Edward and Jacob play baseball against each other? Is there going to be a dance-off?
HOLLY (patiently): No, it means some people like one guy, and some people like the other guy.
SARAH: ... Hmm.

Of course, as is my way, I immediately began to take this too far and apply it to everything. A little while later, while rambling around New York with my friends Jen and Sarah Cross, I explained how Teams worked in Wuthering Heights.

JEN: They don't work in Wuthering Heights.
SARAH: Sure they do! Sure they do! It's Team Heathcliff versus Team Edgar Linton!
SARAH C: Sarah, nobody is on Team Edgar Linton.
SARAH: I AM ON TEAM EDGAR LINTON. He's hot and blond and rich and he doesn't hang puppies! He's clearly the team to be on. Everyone should be on Team Doesn't Hang Puppies!

Context is QWP, and must be Team Jacob, since obviously it's the equivalent to Team Doesn't Hang Puppies.
LIMOZEEN!
  • xany

(no subject)

deadwinter saw Dragonforce play live this past weekend:
"A...neon...fucking...green...keytar. This show just went from good to awesome."
"Oh, he's gonna show us the power of Journey if it fucking kills him"

"He's so serious about it too"
"Dude, a keytar is like a crysknife: once you pull it out you have to draw blood."
Context is all meedly-meedly-weeee! Flocked, but made with the QWiPpiness.
misc] let me live
  • trialia

(no subject)

naamah_darling's emotions are messy, messy things...

No, there's nothing contradictory about coexisting murderousness, randiness, and frustration. They are all part of a carnivorous and cannibalistic continuum that starts with me killing and eating someone, right through someone eating me recreationally, and ends with me eating at myself.


QWP, context.