Metaquotes

 

primitivepeoplereports on the economy:

In the last seven days Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly-up, and Bonsai Bank has announced plans to cut some of its branches. Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.

While Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but remains in the black. Furthermore, five hundred staff at Karate Bank got the chop, and analysts report there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank, where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.


Context has died, due to stock market falling.

So that we might laugh, lest we cry, larabeaton reports:

I received a letter yesterday from AIG Assurance that I have been pre-approved for a life insurance policy of up to $150,000.....

I couldn't really read past that, because I was laughing too hard.

QWP and in entirety.

the_dala says in response to a post in obama_2008:

Dear Mr. McCain: Would you like Swiss or brie to go with your whine? I'm partial to the later, but the former is full of holes just like your campaign's strategy.

QWP, Context is deliciously cheesy

dakotawitch , on the necessity of extremely low expectations for tonight's VP debate:

"cuz come on, when Katie Couric the nicest woman in journalism makes you look like an idiot, that's kind of like being eviscerated by a fluffy kitten"

Context agrees with my icon [QWP]

Cleaning ladies, socialistic morales and dildos you say? martinemonster sums up.
QWP friendslocked.

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heartstillatwar: You know, usually I try not to let political affiliations affect my relationships with people, but in this case, I feel like if you tell me you actually approve of Sarah Palin, not only can we never be friends, I can't even think of you as a rational, intelligent human being.

irish_caffeine: Hell yeah. It's kind of like people who eat babies. You don't really have to wait around and hear their explanations. You know pretty much all you need to know right there.

That's all he wrote, folks.

momentarygenius says in wow_ladies: "You know you're an addict when...My wow-playing bf and I found out last week we're expecting.  And I seriously contemplated naming it after one of our characters.  (I mean really, Rysah would make an adorable little girls name.)"

narcissus responds:momentarygenius drops loot [baby]

Context: QWP friends locked.

 

la_petite_singe at statements has an interesting comparison:

"I like the way Obama calls him 'John;' it's like how Dumbledore calls Voldemort 'Tom.'"

Link.

drakonlily has some time to think...

So, I have a few theories on our up and coming USA presidential hopefuls. One, Sarah Palin is not a fool. No, she is a brilliant Necromancer who not only killed McCain, but then brought him BACK from the dead. How is this brilliant? She's the VP if he wins! He'll just "die of a heart attack" in office in a month or so and there she is "Leader of the Free World" as they like to say.

Pshaw, Drakon, you say. Well, this claim doesn't have a TON of evidence, but here we go. A quick google will show that Mrs Palin may or may not have asked to be protected from witchcraft. Maybe she fears RETALIATION from OTHER NECROMANCERS!??! I mean, seriously, have you guys taken a good hard look at McCain?

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Context has EVAN MOAR EVIDENCE! And would like to remind us all to laugh now and then.

I'd like our political debates to be moderated a little better. Some suggestions:

1) Evasions, justifications, and circular reasoning are not "acceptable answers" and will be fiercely mocked by the moderator.

2) Candidates, you (and the audience) will see the following lights on the moderator's podium:
Yellow: You have 10 seconds left. Wrap it up or be cut off.
Flashing Yellow: You are evading the question, and everyone knows it.
Flashing Red: Your current statement is a total fabrication. Correct yourself, or lose the right to respond to this issue any further.
Red: Out of time, or in time-out.

3) You will see a small game show-type "buzzer" in front of you. If you "buzz in" and correctly identify the logical fallacy (or fallacies) being employed by your opponent at that moment and successfully prove your assertion, your opponent may not respond further. Incorrect or improperly proven assertions will result in equivalent time being deducted from your next response and given to your opponent to finish the current response. If correct, however, you may use the time remaining to do a victory dance. Spiking the buzzer is not permitted.


Context doesn't care what the moderator asked.

From lianeviolet

Today has been an episode of "Liane Violet and the Mysterious Oil on the Side of her Fritos Bag". We looked everywhere inside my desk where the Fritos bag lived. No oil anywhere but all over the outside of the bag. I have exhausted my detective skills. It's time to call in Nancy Drew. Or Detective Goren. Because there is something oddly attractive about his oddness. Perhaps his genius mind will come up with the theory that my Fritos bag actually murdered another Fritos bag and is covered in the oil of the Fritos bag victim. Someone may want to do DNA testing.

But, I'm eating the Fritos anyway. The evidence is gone. I am aiding and abetting a murderer.

Tonight is the VP Debate. I need to buy another bag of Fritos.

Context should probably switch to Pringles. Oh yeah, open entry, but QWP anyway.

limpingpigeon gives her take on the VP debate:

Man. Tina Fey's Sarah Palin impression just keeps getting better and better. But whoever the comedian playing Biden is, he's being completely unfunny. How'd he even get on the show?

Quoted in entirety with permission. Context can see Russia from its house!

robin_redbreast had some VP debate fun:

...I went to the Pub tonight to watch the Vice Presidential Debates...And Jenny printed out PalinBingo, which I won!

(My card was stacked- I had "God" "Terrorism" "Alaska" and "Hockey Mom" in a row.)

Context is a total maverick

QWP, f/o entry.