September 28th, 2008

joker clap

The Solution to Bad Spelling

Over at bad_rpers_suck, a post is made about horrible, deliberate misspellings.

zenicurean: No omg lol we aer simply n0t ev1l pr3scriptivists liek y00 we aer teh futurez instead lol ydsdgox lsdfklsd apowsx fdhfdgdfs fleshly beams of walking round amethyst ovals of seeing perked audits sparkling many-fauceted red emerald grignr grignr grignr


celestineangel: I weild a magic Dictionary of Doom! Should I whap you with it, you shall either magically be able to type correctly... or you'll implode.

Care to find out?


zenicurean: urgh grignr grignr grignr mrfik? grignr waargh raargh!

ovals of s1ght.


celestineangel: ::whaps with magic Dictionary of Doom::


zenicurean: arrg! hrrgh! grignr grignr underpants ovals of...

No, wait. Wait. I can... I can feel something. What is this unearthly feeling? The keys on the keyboard are suddenly alight with an inner glow. Does their arrangement follow some sort of ghostly logic only now coming to my attention? My very brain is reeling, smitten with a thousand new sensations and concepts. The comma. The capital letter. The Shift key.

And there... yes, there in the far distance? What is that? Is that the English language?

Oh, my Lord. The structure. The beautiful, beautiful, immaculate structure. Every subject, every predicate, every modifier in its place. Every comma and every full stop carefully placed. Every expressed thought wrapped and bound within a system of presentation that's crisp, coherent, and precise, yet rich and flexible.

It is full of letters!
MOAR

The debate...in 30 seconds.

Sadly, I missed the debate and have not yet been able watch the TiVo. Fortunately for me, I have friends like carnivalesque who keep me filled in.

Tonight's debate in 30 seconds, in caps:

OBAMA: HOPE AND CHANGE AND THE FUTURE.
MCCAIN: THE COLD WAR AND WWII AND VETERANS.
OBAMA: I WILL MEET WITH LEADERS AND TALK ABOUT CHANGE RATHER THAN KICKING IN DOORS.
MCCAIN: I WOULD WAIT BECAUSE I DUNNO IF WE LIKE SPAIN OR NOT.
OBAMA: WTF?
MCCAIN: DUDE LOL I'M NOT IN OFFICE YET. I DON'T HAVE THE BUDDY LIST AND SMITE LIST YET. LOL.
OBAMA: IT'S FUCKING SPAIN, DUDE, LOL. WE LIKE SPAIN.
MCCAIN: YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. *SEETHING ANGER*
OBAMA: HOPE AND CHANGE. I AM YOUNG AND HIP. I AM COOL AS A CUCUMBER.
MCCAIN: I WILL PROTECT AND CARE FOR MY VETERAN BROTHERS. THIS WILL BE MY JOB. MY ONLY JOB. I WILL KEEP YOU SAFE, MY BROTHERS. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO QUIT YOU. *TEAR*
OBAMA: ...PIMP, OUT. *DOES THE ROBOT AS HE LEAVES THE PODIUM*
MCCAIN: *POPS A VIAGRA AS HE RETURNS TO HIS CONCUBINE WIFE*


Context will hug your elephant if you kiss her ass.
kitty, calico

slipstream_chan has it all figured out now

OH GOD IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!

Obama = Penguin
McCain = Max Shreck
Palin = Catwoman
America = The Goddamn Batman

QUICK, BATMAN! GIVEN THESE THREE VILLAINS, DETERMINE WHO IS THE LEAST VILE. AND DON'T LET CATWOMAN'S SEX APPEAL DISTRACT YOU FROM THE TRUE PATH OF JUSTICE!

As for me, I'm sticking with whoever's Alfred in this metaphor.
QWP.
post hoc ergo propter hoc

I didn't get it til I read the comments, either.

My great-grandfather was a rabbi, brough over from Lithuania just before the pogroms at the age of thirteen. They were at the centre of a large Belfast clan of emigres and he and his wife were, by all accounts, amazing. My great-grandfather and great-grandmother have a joint grave in a tiny churchyard outside Groomsport. Dad gave me a copy of the inscription, and Latin a-level was sufficiently long ago that I'm having a bit of bother translating.

Can anyone turn their scholarly nous to this? Thanks guys :D

Numquam te reliquam
Numquam te sumissam
Numquam circumcursabo
Te deseritque

- steerpikelet

Context is going for the slow burn.
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