September 26th, 2008

konata cornet
  • matcha

with apologies to e.e. cummings

In response to an ontd_political update, schmiss points out the incomprehensible beauty in Palin's words:

Palin Poetry Hour

it's very

(when you consider)

even --
national security

with russia

as putin rears his head
and comes into the airspace
of the united states of america

where do they go?

it's alaska.

it's just right over the border.

context brings tears to your eyes
  • Current Mood
    amused amused

I'm in your department store, foiling your scams

Of course people get pissed when you shut them down with a flat NO. So whenever someone wants to do the Persian bazaar deal, just do like me and say "Boss will only trade for camels."


"Or goats."

and so on. If they don't have livestock to trade, you can make them an offer.

"I'll give you two goats for your shoes, your shoes and your belt."


"Okay, two goats, a raccoon, and a ferret if you throw in those cuff links."

Context wants a deep discount in a major department store, and isn't getting it. Quoted with permission.
Joba Celebration

(no subject)

katieliz is sick of the politicking:

Alright, I get it,, you hate McCain. But do you really have to e-mail me three times a day about it?

Seriously. You are like the facebook friend that keeps sending me stupid applications to join. I don't want to be your human pet, your vampire minion, or a dragon.

P.S. Where's my damn free button you promised me?

It's the Context, Stupid!

Public entry, QWP

Breaking news: McCain Suspends Campaign To Assist in Fight Against Voldemort

by gmth, Associate LJ Writer

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Just moments after un-suspending his Presidential campaign and agreeing to participate in Friday night's debate with Barack Obama, Sen. John McCain (R - AZ) has re-suspended the campaign and cancelled his debate appearance in order to cross the Atlantic to assist with the ongoing war against He Who Must Not Be Named.

"We need to stop that son of a bitch cold," McCain said, standing against a backdrop of American flags with a suspicious bulge in one pocket his campaign aides later insisted was a wand. "I invite Senator Obama to join me and am directing my people to cancel all of the debates and other campaign activities on both sides until he agrees, by force, if necessary. I am fully prepared to put this election off until January or February of next year, maybe even later, if this crisis is not resolved before that time."

McCain also added he had cancelled yet another appearance on the Late Show with host David Letterman, to which Letterman responded, "Fuck him sideways with a rusty pipe. Seriously. I'm sick of this shit."

"It's time for both parties to come together to solve this problem," the Arizona senator insisted. "We must meet as Americans, not as muggles or wizards, and we must meet until this crisis is resolved."

Harry Potter, on the ground and in the thick of things at the Battle of Hogwarts, seemed surprised when he heard about McCain's decision. "What good does he think he can do here?" Potter said. "We don't need him. If he insists on showing up, just tell him to stay out of the fucking way this time, that's all I'm saying."

"The stupid old git," added Potter's first lieutenant, Ronald Weasley.

When asked why she could not go to Hogwarts in his place to deal with the situation, McCain's running mate Alaska Governor Sarah Palin said, "I don't know anything about the situation over there. I can't see Scotland from my house."


Context is minding its qwps.
Sacred Lotus unfolding
  • siege

"...the ideal boyfriend, except for the whole cat thing."

ginmar doesn't need a mechanic to love her cats:

I swear, some guys need to be reminded that cuddling is an end in itself, not a means to an end. That's why that sadistic dipshit baseball player got jealous of his girlfriend's cat. He sucked as a boyfriend. I bet he defined all affection as foreplay, and treated his wife like a car. (This is not that different from the way fundies treat pregnant women as flowerpots: man puts seed in, woman is just soil. Man puts gas in car, starts engine, warms engine up....)