September 12th, 2008

mermaid yay

(no subject)

alexandraerin  has branched out from fiction into songwriting inspired by the current Republican ticket...

I Hate The World

I hate the bloggers.
I hate the clear blue skies.
I hate(?) big bridges.
I hate my lovely wife.
I hate the whole world, and all its sights and sound...

...boom-dee-ah-da, boom-dee-ah-da, boom-dee-ah-da, boom-dee-ah-da...

I hate the oceans.
I hate librarians
I hate the cold facts
I hate when Sambo wins.
I hate the whole world, and all its liberalness.

...boom-dee-ah-da, boom-dee-ah-da, boom-dee-ah-da, boom-dee-ah-da...

I hate computers.
I hate the power grids.
I hate commuters.
I hate protecting kids.
I hate the whole world, it's such a stupid place.

...boom-dee-ah-da, boom-dee-ah-da, boom-dee-ah-da, boom-dee-ah-da...
...boom-dee-ah-da, boom-dee-ah-da, boom-dee-ah-da, boom-dee-ah-da...

Context is sourcing her claims. QWP.

All my chair are belong to cat

Of all human ills, greatest is felines' wayward tyranny.

ginmar presents the Greek Tragedy of her hungry felines:

Chorus: Feed us!

Soloist: Feed me!

Chorus: Feed us! We are small and fluffy and starving!

Soloist: Hades is full of those such as you.

Chorus: Hades is full of the litterboxes of kittens who eat gargonzola cheese and Ex Lax.

Second Soloist: Ponder that image for a while, human.

First soloist: Ponder the immensity of fate.
Collapse )
Quoted with blanket permission. Context asks, "Hey, you rip dese?"
hellboy: why yes

(no subject)

Resident gibberish translator funkicarus attempts to communicate with an incoherent troll:

"gibberish is a fine language, and those who seek to hone their skills in it must strive to let go their concious mind and write only from impulse.

it's like the Force.
only with words, and less darth vader. and as you can see, our OP here was clearly of the dark side. so i, being of the light, must combat it.

i'm like a gibberish jedi."

Context asks you to please feed the troll.

A commenter said it best: "Hilarious and oh so human."

shadowcaptain had a big day coming, so of course he planned for it:
you have Very Important Persons visiting from out of town. make sure that you get a good night sleep the night before of at least eight hours
nearly six hours
in the ballpark of four hours
. . . just remember, excedrin is the one with caffeine in it. the green bottle. no, the green bottle.

[...] you may need to shuttle all manner of things and people all over town this weekend. so, wash your car
vacuum your car
clean out your car
push the trash under the seats.

[...] update your phone with the relevant phone numbers you're going to need
print out a good copy of the phone numbers you're going to need
see that stack of post-it notes?
Context is well-worth a read in entirety; you will be missing out otherwise.
elliot geek

(no subject)

30toseoul 's take on what 12+ months at the South Pole does...

"Hee. Our first Herc flight is scheduled for November 4th, which I just realized is the same day as the U.S. presidential election. It would be tough to find a bunch of Americans anywhere on the planet who will be collectively less interested in that outcome than us.

"Who won? Wait, I want to get a salad at the Bog, and a fresh beer, and jesus christ, I can't believe how warm it is. I need to go swimming immediately. Oh, sorry, the election. So -- oh my GOD, there's a dog. Would they mind if I pet it? I don't care, I'm petting it anyway. Which is the bookstore that has the cat again? What? Yeah, right, so Obama or... you know, 'McCain' starts with the same two letters as 'McDonald's' and I really need a burger right now. Although, wait, who's got the rest of the weed? We should do that first. Then we can go swimming. What?"

It will be awesome. *g*"

There is no context, the awesome was entirely contained here.